The End of My Journey, The Beginning of Theirs...

           At this point, I have spent over twelve hours with the refugee family. I, along with my group, have done my best to develop their foundation in the English language. We have tried to share skills with them that will be beneficial in their new lives in the United States. While my group and I have worked hard, they certainly have a long way to come. I just hope that we were able to make some contribution in bettering their English language skills so that they will feel more at ease in their new home country. Regardless of whether or not their English has improved, I think that we have impacted their lives simply by showing that we care. 

            A theme that I have seen throughout my time with the family is the barrier that language can create and the ways that this barrier can be overcome. Not speaking the same language makes even the simplest tasks extremely challenging. Nonverbal communication became extremely important in our interactions with the family. I became very attuned to the nonverbal messages that each family member was sending because that was really our main form of communication. Another theme I saw during our visits was how important the BASIC skills are for competent intercultural communication. I noticed, especially, the need for the display of respect, empathy, interaction posture, and task role behaviors. I came to understand just how much proficiently displaying these skills can enhance and further intercultural communication. Displaying respect for the family’s culture by removing our shoes, sitting on the floor, and inquiring about their cultural practices showed the family that we were genuinely interested in them as people. Showing empathy for the family’s situation encouraged them to lean on us and ask us for assistance when they needed it. Having good interaction posture made them feel comfortable with us, and task role behaviors were absolutely necessary in order for us to get anything done. Lastly, I noticed that no matter how good I think I am at communicating, I can always improve—especially when it comes to intercultural communication.

            The things that I have learned during my time spent with this family will definitely be beneficial when it comes to all of my future interpersonal interactions. The knowledge and lessons that I have learned through this experience do not merely apply to intercultural interactions. I have learned the importance of nonverbal communication. I have realized that it often tells you more about how a communicator is feeling than his/her verbal communication. In the future, I will undoubtedly pay closer attention to the nonverbal messages that are being sent by those with whom I am communicating with. This way, I will have a better understanding of how the communicator is really feeling, and I can alter the way that I am communicating with him or her. If I can master them, the BASIC skills will obviously be beneficial in future interpersonal interactions. From now on, I will make a conscious effort to put these skills into practice in each interpersonal interaction. Finally, the knowledge that I have much more to learn when it comes to communication will push me to consciously strive to improve my communication skills in each interpersonal interaction that I have. 

Lessons Learned...

My last visit to the refugee family that my group is working with was a lot of fun. When we entered the apartment, each of us made sure to remove our shoes as a display of respect for this cultural custom. After doing this, we noticed the mother and the oldest daughter weaving scarves in the other room. In another attempt to display respect, I inquired about what they were doing and asked if they would show me. They showed me the process by which they make the scarves and a couple of finished products. After they explained this, we moved into the living room to begin that night’s study of English. Walking down the hallway, I heard the loud voices of several children and immediately knew that the family had company. The family had invited their cousins over that night. After introducing ourselves, we began to work as usual, but I quickly noticed that the group dynamic had been significantly altered by the presence of their extended family. Unlike the family, their cousins were very loud. They have also been in the United States for much longer and are, therefore, much more proficient in reading and speaking the English language. When working with the family, the cousins would often shout out the answers to questions we asked without giving them time to even think. This night, more than all of our other visits, required task role behaviors and interaction management in order to accomplish what we were there to do.

I never want the family to feel as if I think that I am superior to them simply because my knowledge in this subject (English) is greater than theirs at present. In an effort to show them this, I often have them teach me words in their language. I also make an effort to inquire about and express interest in their culture, as I did when asking about how they made the scarves. Respect can also be shown nonverbally. Obeying their cultural custom by taking our shoes off as we entered their home is a nonverbal display of respect that we engage in each time we visit the family. These simple things display respect for their culture and indicate competent communication. Displaying a respect for their culture will go a long way in furthering the interpersonal relationships forming between the family and myself.

Task role behaviors were absolutely essential during this visit. The ability to ask questions, receive answers, and keep the group on task was complicated by the presence of the family’s cousins. Much of the night was spent socializing. I did not want to be rude, so I tried to understand the fact that different cultures approach completing tasks very differently. While I view a task as something to be completed quickly and efficiently, they may not. Socializing could be an integral part of completing tasks in their culture. When we were on task, however, the cousins would shout out all of the answers. I occasionally would try to manage the interaction by reminding the cousins to let the family have a turn in answering.

Each time I visit the family I learn so much about communicating interculturally. This week, I learned that displaying respect for another’s culture really opens the channel for better and more competent communication. I also learned the importance of possessing interaction management skills. I think that I would benefit from developing these skills and task role behaviors. Being proficient when it comes to these two areas will benefit both myself and the family in future interactions.

Learning Along the Way...

            The past couple of times that my group has visited the refugee family that we are working with, we have spent much of our time reading with them. My mom is a first grade teacher and my sister is a kindergarten teacher, so I am able to bring a wide variety of books to read with the family. I, personally, spend a lot of time working with the father of the family. He is generally able to read the words that he sees by sounding them out, but he often comes across words which he does not know the meaning of. After spending a fair amount of time with him, I have come to find it is easy to tell when he needs clarification by the nonverbal messages that he sends. At the end of our last visit, while reading with the father, he began to tell and show me that he and his daughter needed new city bus passes in order to get to and from school. His daughter had only one punch left on her pass and he had none left. I could tell that he was anxious about this. The nearest place to purchase bus passes was much too far to walk. His concern was so evident; I found that empathy for his situation was crucial to how the rest of the interaction would proceed. I responded with enough concern for both he and his daughter that he felt comfortable asking me to purchase bus passes for them, which I did the next morning with money that he gave me.

            Because there is such a language barrier when it comes to communication with the refugee family, nonverbal communication has become absolutely vital in our interactions. The family’s kinesics are especially telling and extremely helpful in determining the messages that they are trying to send. When I read with the father, for example, he makes a certain face when he comes across a word which he doesn’t know the meaning of. Sometimes, he also pauses after reading these words. His facial expressions and his silence indicate to me that he would appreciate an explanation and definition of the word. He never explicitly asks for the definitions of the words he doesn’t know, but I know that he wants to know them. Therefore, it is extremely important for me to interpret the nonverbal messages that he is sending. Being rather universal, nonverbal communication seems to be even more important in intercultural communication.

            The ability to display empathy was really important when we discussed the bus passes. If I would not have shown my concern—through nonverbal messages such as my facial expression and gestures—I do not think that he would have asked me to pick up the passes and drop them off. Because I showed genuine interest in the situation and concern for him and his daughter, he was willing to ask for this favor, and I was happy to help. Empathy, which I conveyed, in this case, through nonverbal communication, furthered our conversation and enabled competent communication with a favorable outcome.

            I learned a lot over the past two visits to our World Relief family. The primary lesson to emerge was the importance of nonverbal communication in an intercultural context. I also learned the importance of empathy in intercultural communication. In future interactions with the family, I will pay close attention to the nonverbal messages of each family member, as they often tell more than words. I will also be sure to display empathy when appropriate as a way to ensure that the family feels comfortable in our interpersonal interactions. The application of both of these lessons will promote competent communication in the future.